When you look at your life, when you think of your friends…are they life long? Have friends come and gone depending on where you lived, what you were doing or what your interests were? Do you think everyone has at least one BFF (Best Friend Forever)?
I began this post thinking I would write about ‘my people’, my YaYa’s, my high school friends.
Jan, Karen, Susan, Lisa, Deb
I met all but Karen in the sixth grade when I moved to Holden, a scared newbie entering a completely new environment. I met Karen in high school when Holden Junior High and 5 towns convened at Wachusett Regional High School. Some of these ladies never lost touch. I however had to experience my less than stellar hippy period; yet they have warmly welcomed me back.
Since Covid, we have tried to gather for a zoom call at least once a month.
Screenshot
I know… not the most attractive picture, but there is joy in the making here. It is a delight to catch up each month. We talk travel, books, family, health, food and any other topic that blossoms. These ladies spark comforting nostalgia and add a grounding sense of identity. They know my Holden beginnings…to me that’s comforting. They knew me when I was still grappling with who I wanted to be.
friendship- so long ago 1963 to be exact my world was uprooted with a new town a new mother a new family new friends as little girls do i found ‘my people’ i came and went veering off for a bit of ‘hippy’ they haven’t held that against me friendship has endured now in 2026 we still care we still have ‘us’
Most people are social beings, appreciating being a part of a friend group, to feel a sense of belonging. As Brent Brown says “True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to BE who we are.” I feel that with this Zoom group; the YaYas Our life stories couldn’t be more different. Our work lives, marriage stories, education, passions…all different. And that’s OK
I am blessed.
Does that mean they are all my BFFs. No. I have only had one BFF, Russ. When he died I was bereft, lost, struggling. Since meeting Doug, I am grateful for his care and attention. Is he my BFF? I don’t know yet, but he is most certainly a treasure.
What I thought about as I got thinking about my Zoom friends and our meeting today, was how many friends have passed through my life. Following are some of them. I only used photos I was in, no family are included..though they are all besties. And than there are friends I have photos of, but without me in the picture…
I have found a good base of people here in Tucson. It took some effort. I couldn’t sit home and wait for them to come to me, I had to be proactive.
When you think of your world, your journey, what comes to mind when you think of friends?
I believe it is MOST important that we all get out and vote in the midterms. I have never been a political person, but watching our country politics during this presidential term frightens me. I try not to over-read or over-think, but it’s difficult not to import the daily barrage of information; I get lost inside all the noise.
So why does the Midterm election matter? According to the Center for Civic Justice… “A midterm election is a general election held two years into a president’s four-year term, exactly halfway through the presidential term. Unlike presidential years, the presidency is not on the ballot. It serves as a public judgment on the administration’s first two years and determine the president’s ability to pass legislation versus facing gridlock.
The 2026 cycle looks like this: Of the 435 House seats and 100 Senate seats, the following are being contested: US House: 435 Contested Seats; Every seat in all 50 states is up for election every two years. US Senate: 35 Contested Seats; Class 2 senators are up (22 Republican-held; 13 Democratic-held). Select Senate seats will also hold special elections.
Other contested races for consideration include: Gubernatorial: 36 of 50 states and 3 territories will hold elections for state governor”
While the presidential election determines who is in the White House, the midterms play a critical part in the democratic process which can reshape the balance of power in government. It’s about the U.S. Constitution and keeping The House of Representative connected to the communities they serve.
Since far fewer citizens cast a ballot in the Midterms than in the presidential election, your vote matters. With a smaller field of voters, each vote, in the end, carries more weight. Don’t you want to see that system prevail? Midterms matter. Get out and vote.
It’s about honor, integrity, hope, honesty, compassion, and a strong moral compass. Honor yourself, your family, and your community by making the choice and taking advantage of your right to vote.
I have never dwelled endlessly on politics. That changed this term with ‘the Donald’ in office. Each day brings more and more anxiety, more wanting to step aside, but I can’t seem to force myself. I seem driven to know the latest craziness.
politics- is it decisive is it polarized is it ridiculous is it completely out of control yes to all how do i reconcile this reality how do i not panic how do i have hope in tomorrow what cries do i hear let me remember to look forward towards peace disenthrall myself do i live in truth or dread how do i decern truth is prayer the answer is activism is demonstration let me breathe, focus and pray with hope
I am unpinned. I am on an improvisation zig-zag path, trying to make sense of each insensible twist. Do I need to settle for his vision of the world? Is there any hope? The Donald keeps saying ‘Make America Great Again” and he wants to rename New Mexico, New America. I agree with Jimmy Kimmel who says “If there was a New America, we’d all be going there!”
In my anxious state, I now restrict the amount of news I read or listen to each day. Do you engage in the daily barrage of political rehash? Does that taint your day? I want to know the relevant details, but I can’t fill every hour with such negativity. Am I hiding from what’s true? I don’t think so. I do think if I am passionate enough to obsess, I should be doing more to right the wrongs.
I download books from the library and their Libby app. I always begin by saying audio book and available now. Up popped Michelle Obama’s book. I am loving it!
It’s honest, real and inspiring. It is filled with respect, family values and hope…all things I am not seeing with our current administration, all things that matter to me. It’s interesting and insightful and I admit I have teared up more than once. She has shared her personal story with such clarity, allowing her readers to connect with her soul, her substance, her values.
As we come to midterms I pray there are enough Americans to vote with these values…those of hope, community, family, hard work, and reflecting on all people, all humans, not the narrowness of one man, a man who is apparently not healthy but being coddled.
Can we again be an America for all people, not just the president and his cronies?
I woke this Labor Day morning to a rainy day. I had plans for a long early morning walk. I may do that a little later, but I’ll wait for the rain to stop.
Doug’s wife Mary died four years ago. My friend Deb just had major surgery. I am listening to Michelle Obama’s book ‘Becoming’ and the love she poured into her father’s health struggles. I have been thinking about my friend with MS. And then, as with almost every family, Doug and I both have family members who grapple to find solid footing in life. Aging is tough…end of story.
I recently printed off all my blog entries since the beginning of 2026. I wrote a piece back in March and it still speaks to my soul. I was married to a wonderful man for more than half my life. He died. I drowned in sorrow, sinking lower and lower until the darkness made me realize I needed to shift my mental reality, to knit the wondrous parts of life back in. “Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean loving them less. It doesn’t mean ‘moving on’. Healing means learning how to carry the love, without being crushed by the pain.” You can read the original post here:
Today though, I want to reprint Jessica Everett-Ellerman’s thoughts on widowhood. Jessica Everett-Ellerman March 12, 2026 at 7:46 AM · Here’s something widowhood teaches you real fast. You are going to die. Not someday in the abstract way people like to talk about over coffee. For real. Your life can end on a random Tuesday while everyone else thought you were healthy and had decades left. I know that because my husband was 48. Healthy. Strong. Normal morning. Normal life. And then suddenly he wasn’t here anymore. So when people ask me why I write the way I do… why I say the uncomfortable things… why I push people to wake the hell up and live… this is why. Most people are walking around acting like life is a dress rehearsal. Like there will be a better time to say the things. Take the trip. Fix the relationship. Leave the job. Start the dream. Like there’s some invisible guarantee that you’ll get to do it later. There isn’t. And if you’ve never sat in an ICU… or held someone’s hand while machines breathe for them… or signed the papers that end a life… be grateful. Truly. Because widowhood rips the fantasy right out of you. It teaches you something brutal and honest: Time is not promised. Not for you. Not for the people you love. So tell them you love them. Take the risk. Go dancing. Book the damn trip. Laugh too loud. Love too big. Because one day the people who love you will be sitting in a quiet house looking at photos wondering how life changed so fast. And if you’re lucky enough to still be here today… wake up. Your life isn’t coming later. It’s happening right now.
Her truth is my truth. Her words are my words. So yes, I chose life and today that includes this guy…
Doug has given me a chance to live into Jessica’s words. Now it’s your turn- thrive, laugh, explore and live in hope and joy.
My Hummingbird Family continues to grow…meet Mama Mia and Olive.
Mama Mia builds her nestMama sits on her eggOlive has hatchedMama Mia feeds OliveOlive sitting outside her nest, stretching, getting ready to fledgeReady, Set, Go Olive flys across the patio…and she flys to another perchAnd finally into the wild blue yonder
It has been a treat and new learning curve to watch the birds in my backyard. Between my nesting hummingbirds, the many birds who drink and bathe from my fountain and my hummingbird feeder (which also feeds ‘my’ gila woodpecker), a new passion has been born.
Here are a few hummingbird facts I have learned along the way:
It takes about 5 weeks from the time an egg is hatched until the little one fledges.
Mama sits on the egg(s) about 2 weeks
Most often two eggs are laided
Mama feeds her nestling(s) a slurry of nectar that she regurgitates for them
After a couple weeks she will bring small insects
The nest is about the size of a thimble
The egg is the size of a small jelly bean
The baby is born featherless
Mama uses stretchy spiderwebs to build the next because it will expand to accommodate the babies as they grow.
Baby hummingbirds start to grow feathers after hatching. Within about two weeks, they sit on the edge of the nest and begin stretching their wings, preening, practicing balance.
There are about 330 species
Once the little one fledges…. bye baby bye
My last experience was easier to follow as the nest was across the yard in an Oleander bush and Doug brought his telescope over so we could watch through the window. This time wasn’t so simple, but it was equally thrilling.
As I said, my blog platform ended. I am not completely without some tech knowledge, but I did a fairly thorough search for options and tutorials. I downloaded two written tutorials and watched their videos as well. Both promised that Bluehost would be cheap, simple and had amazing customer service.
NOT!
They each approached the topic of a beginner blog set-up differently. Perhaps my confusion came from not following just one person’s advice? I went back to original set-up, reread his tutorial, rewatched his video and started from scratch. Sigh… I was no better off.
In frustration I reached out to the tech guys at church as well as connecting with a web designer here in town. The guys had no experience, but the web designer gave me hope.
Just a suggestion, but don’t believe the “easy”, “beginner”, ‘cheap to free” or “excellent customer service” for Bluehost and its affiliation with WordPress. Noe of that was true for me. A first phone call to customer service was to get a refund for a double charge of yearly cost as well as a privacy charge which I had opted out of but was charged for. The it took three phone calls and 3 partial payments to get a full refund for their very confusion presentation of building a blog.
In speaking with Chad, he guided me to WordPress.com. I am still a bit confused, but have made more progress in an hour than hours in Bluehost. I am feeling much better thanks to Chad.
I want simple, but I am thinking a few plug-ins will help. I have my work cut out for me this holiday weekend…along with my new refrigerator delivery tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! Color me happy.
NOTE: This post is a bit long, I apologize ahead of time. When I was teaching creative writing to children I labeled this structural framework a bed to bed story… I got up, I had breakfast, I got dressed, I went to school… I am trying to learn how to use WordPress and it’s not an intuitive process for me. Importing photos, deciding on size and positioning, how to import a video (haven’t figured that one out yet) has been hours for me, not the promised 20 minutes in the tutorial. Not only was our trip an adventure, but learning to use WordPress is as well.
ONWARD
Off we go to New Mexico with several plans to navigate into our four days away. It all began with the idea of hanging out with Doug’s sister Mary and her husband David. Mission accomplished: terrific fun!
Before we worked our way to northern New Mexico there were a couple of destinations to explore. First up was Pie Town, NM with a must stop tasting at the Pie Town Pie Company. In this quirky town of 100+ all resident’s fingers (and tummies) point to one of several pie cafes. We chose the Pie Company.
Each day offers a new selection…perhaps Lemon-Blueberry Buttermilk, Blackberry-Lavender with local goat cheese, or Coco-Cola Pecan.
It was an adventure to be sure, but a bit pricey for my comfort. What it did show me was that a small community in the middle of nowhere can come together as a ‘team’ to make life worth living and make people happy in the process.
This little town was named my a man who broke down along the road in the 1920s. To make some money he began making and selling pies along the road side, soon expanding to open a general store that of course included selling his now sought after pies.
With our tummies full of expensive pie we ventured on to our next stop, The Very Large Array. “Founded in 1956, the NRAO provides state-of-the-art radio telescope facilities for use by the international scientific community. NRAO telescopes are open to all astronomers regardless of institutional or national affiliation. Observing time on NRAO telescopes is available on a competitive basis to qualified scientists after evaluation of research proposals on the basis of scientific merit, the capability of the instruments to do the work, and the availability of the telescope during the requested time.” It was a long drive from Tucson, but we made it with an hour to spare to explore the facility. NOT! We neglected to consider the time change, so we in fact had 5 minutes. First came the surly staff person telling us the Jodi Foster film shut down an hour ago, then she turned the lights off and finally escorted us out the door. It was only then that Doug thought…oh, is there a time difference?
I can’t seem to embed the Jodi Foster video here, perhaps it’s has a copyright issue. If you are interested (and it IS very interesting, inspiring curiosity) go to YouTube and search “Beyond the Visible:The Story of the Vary Large Array”. This is how we eventually learned what the array is all about, though after the fact I’m afraid. Sigh
Doug was concerned about getting locked into the vastness of nothing, so we continued on our journey to spend the night in Albuquerque. I was familiar with a hotel which is right next to a wine bar/restaurant. Bingo. We had a good dinner and nice night and headed out early the next morning for our destination, Casa del Gavilan. This historic inn is nestled in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains near Cimarron. Doug had a bit of history with the area as he had gone to Philmont Scout Camp (adjacent property) both as a boy and as an adult. It turns out David knew the area as well, spending summer family time in the area as a boy. (He could not imagine why I had picked such a place!)
But first… this began our adventure with hamburgs. It turns out when you are in the boonies, health conscious meals are nowhere to be found (except at your B&B). Four meals in a row we had hamburgs! At a roadside cafe, a creme stand, a bar and finally another culinary wonder like Pie Town, but this one known for its Hatch Green Chili hamburgs.
First stop Eagle’s Nest. We were hungry. Period. Only saw one place on a main road so we stopped, Kaw-Lijas Restaurant.
Turns out it was a one man show that day as the waitress had driven herself to the ER. To complicate things a bit, it was only Mr. One Man’s second week working there and he was now responsible to took orders, cook, serve and do dishes. As the tables continue to fill he kept repeating “I’m trying, I’m all alone here”. All in all, better than Pie Town and the introduction to our journey of burgers.
And finally we approach the inn I have wanted to stay in for years, Casa del Gavilan.
It’s a 5 bedroom B&B sitting alone among acres of fields, meadows and hiking trails. You approach through Cimarron, NM, a town of about 20 buildings and a population of about 800. The Inn was spectacular…so quiet; it honors peace. “Each year thousands of guests from across the country and around the world visit the Casa del Gavilan to experience the remote tranquility.”
A few highlights for us:
The Inn is surrounded by open range. David became our wildlife photographer, getting this one of a pronghorn, another of a rare bear sighting.
With the peaceful setting, being outdoors was a gift. The first night we sat outside to watch the sunset and the heaven’s celestial display. Doug brought out his telescope which helped since the sky was a bit cloudy. It never ceases to astonish me what I see through a telescope that I can’t see with the naked eye. I honestly can’t fathom the sophistication of the Very Large Array.
The next morning I was determined to see sunrise. Our hostess said 4:30am so I was up and on the patio at 4:30. NOT! Sunrise was at 6:30am. I’m glad I waited, it was beautiful. I had a delightful time watching day break while I waited.
With the day beginning so early, I was ready for the hearty breakfast We enjoyed one another’s company and were off to see Philmont Scout Ranch. “Philmont Scout Ranch—a legendary destination where Scouting, adventure, and the spirit of the Wild West come to life in the rugged beauty of New Mexico. Whether you’re a seasoned backpacker, a first-time hiker, or someone looking for a safe and unforgettable outdoor experience, Philmont is now accessible to everyone at every skill level.” They pump 22,000 scouts through the camp for multi-day backpacking treks each season! They are challenging and unforgettable journeys through rugged mountain wilderness and I wanted to see this place that was among Doug’s favorite memories. As it turned out, the owners of the Inn had gone as kids and then found careers at the camp. It is apparently one of those places that stay in your heart forever.
Note the shoes…apparently a rite of passage
I would be remiss if I didn’t share three more burger joints… all were very good, none would be my usual selection. Funny how getting out of your comfort zone makes you grow in ways you didn’t know you needed.
And you? What have you done recently that pushed you to try something new?
“GRACE LETS US HUM THE PARTS OF LIFE WE DON’T UNDERSTAND YET, WHILE WE FIGURE OUT THE WORDS.”
I think that’s a beautiful thought. It allows me to muddle along and not beat myself up because I can’t figure out how to move forward. That is certainly me right now!
Since 2015 I have been blogging using the Weebly platform. It is no longer available and I am in a HUGE muddle of ‘what to do now’? For the last several days I have been scanning the web for an answer, but finally gave up and called a web designer. As I thought, it is far too expensive. I like free not $$$$-!
I will try this and see it it will work for me. A WordPress platform. Sigh.
